Friends And Family Referrals: The Two-Step Ask

If you aren’t getting referrals from friends and family, you’re probably missing a lot of opportunities to get projects. These opportunities are too valuable to pass up. And your friends and family want to help, they just don’t know how. Keep reading for a simple, two-step framework for asking for referrals without coming across as desperate or pushy, one you can use over and over again.

You might be hesitant to mix business with friends and family for fear it might ruin your relationship. See tips for overcoming some of the challenges here so everyone comes away happy. Consider it another way: it can strengthen your relationship if done well because people want to help their friends; they’re likely already discussing their needs or issues, so why not be the person they recommend that gets the job done and done well? 

When you’re ready to ask a friend or family member for help, start with these two questions: 

Will You Help Me Identify Prospects? 

• Be specific about your ideal customer.
• Frame the question like this: “Who do you know who [specific need]?”
  • Examples: homeowners planning renovations, small business owners needing [service], etc.
• Make it a conversation, not a one-time request.
  • Keeping them updated on how past referrals are going (below) is a good way to continue conversations that generate more referrals for you.

Will You Make an Introduction?

• Once they identify someone, ask for the introduction:
  • “Would you be comfortable introducing us?”
• Warm intros convert better than cold outreach.
• Make it easy by offering to write the intro message or provide talking points. See below.
• Assure them you’ll take it from there.

You want to make it as easy as possible for them to help you. Intro templates are a good way to do this. Keep the language simple and to the point. You can save them in a notes app on your phone. We’re also planning to build templates into our future referral lead gen tools in Quote Cactus. Keep them updated on what happens. Showing them their help really mattered. And thank them regardless of the outcome. 

Your friends and family need your permission to help. Most of the time, anyway! Make it an ongoing conversation, without being pushy or salesy, by keeping them updated on project outcomes and how much they’ve helped you and the person you referred. Start with 3 friends or family members this week, ideally those you’ve already done great work for. The worst they can say is no. The best? A steady stream of leads and qualified prospects.